Oh my god im so bored :(

Im missing 1000 things right now.
There are like 20 really good things going on in London this week, and low and behold, im not there.
Can't afford to drive down either.
Rubbish.
Im really missing a few summers ago when i was living with the Italian boys in North Finchely. Hazel pretty much lived at my house that summer and we had such a good time. Out every night going to gigs or just to the pub. I don't understand how i did that as i didnt have a job and was just on job seekers, yet still could afford getting fucked out of my head every night. Was awesome. Im never going to have that again.
It's different now i have Peachy. Not that im complaining, but i will never be able to just go out whenever i want again because i will feel guilty about leaving him at home and coming home wrecked. Again, don't get me wrong, i love him to pieces and i don't know what i would do without him, but sometimes you just reminisce you know?
*le sigh*

Im so sick of everything at the moment.
Im only 21 years old and i feel like im 40. I have so many responsibilities that i dont want, and shouldn't have to carry on my own. But when i try to talk to Peachy about this he says that he does his fair share etc. Does he ever have worry about how we are going to pay the rent? nope. Hannah will sort it as usual. It's my parents that have had to fork out over £1000 in the past few months, not his. And you have NO idea how utterly dreadful that makes me feel.

Just having a shitty time at the moment.
Really hoping that 2010 is going to be a massive change for me and that everything will sort itself out.

I cannot WAIT until Christmas! Going to my parents a few days before xmas and then on Boxing day we are driving over to Wales to see Peachys family, as we didnt go last year.
I like going to Wales, i always feel really relaxed when we go there.

Soooooo, i switched to the part time Access course at college which is going well. I have pretty much cought up with the work already so thats no problem. Slightly more interesting aswell. We only study 4 subjects which are Psychology, Biology, It and Maths. Its only a 1 year course aswell so that alot better. In fact i have had to apply to universities already for the September 2010 starting date!

We will soon have the whole house to ourselves. Im REALLY looking forward to it!

I just emailed this new shop in the MK Shopping centre called Pulp. It sells remotely alternative clothing, so i figured i would try in there. I spoke to the manager a few weeks ago, who said there will be some work coming up over Christmas, so i sent them a pretty informal email basically telling them why they should employ me.... i have worked in the notorious Cyberdog and Ripleys and am a local in Camden so am very used to the whole 'alternative' thing. Plus i have neon yellow and blue hair, piercings and tattoos galore. So fingers crossed. Am going to go into the shop and speak to the manager again in the next few days.

Atari is getting big now! He's not my little baby anymore! hehe. He is still my big baby though :P Child substitutes rock.haha. Awww he's adorable.

Alrighty, well things have gone slightly tits up, and i have to change to a part time college course otherwise i can get my rent paid for me, and seeing as i have no income, i dont have any other choice.
But im trying to to think about that for the moment because i will just get all loony like i was yesterday.

Good things, my bestist buddy is back from travelling after 3 long months! I cant wait to speak to her! Also, we are off to stay with Kev and Daisy for a couple of days over Halloween, so im REALLY excited about seeing them and other people, and just generaly being in London, in an environment that i know and love.

Hair doing to be done tonight. hehe. Bleached it a couple of days ago, then dying it blue again tonight and having my dreads put back in, and i cant wait. Maybe it will help me feel a little bit more like me until my hair grows/i shave it off again :)

Not much has been happening to be honest since the last time i posted here.
Still working hard at college, but not too hard. Getting all my work done at least :) even ahead with most of it!
Am on half term this week and have nothing planned other than Halloween next week :)
REALLY looking forward to going back to London for a few days and seeing my friends, plus Hazel is back from her 3 months of traveling this week so thats really exciting! 

Haven had a migrane all morning. They REALLY drain me, its bizarre. So only just got up really, and its 4pm. Sitting here in the living room watching House with Peachy eating munchies. hehe
Its strange, last night we went to get fish and chips for dinner. Darren wasnt here so we had the flat to ourselves and we were just sitting here laughing at 'youve been framed' like a middle aged couple, and for the first time in a long time, i felt like i was home.

Had some really good news money wise after struggling for so long. When he was a teenager, Peachy opened an ISA with some investment company, and was paying in £25 a month. When he couldnt afford to do it anymore he canceled it and they gave him what he was owed which was like £5, and that was the end of that he thought. But his mum started looking into it recently, and realised there was a bit of money in him name, so he called them the other day and yes there was some money he was owed now the ISA had matured. So we get a cheque through the post for .... *drum roll please*....... £935!! How amazing is that?! Hehe. It has come along at just the right time aswell :) So at least the extremely heavy burden that i seem to carry on my shoulders has gone for a little while.

I have decided to dye my hair again, so am in the midst of doing that at the moment. Its being bleached, and then going blue, then im having an old set of my blue dreads put in for Halloween. Im sure the people of Milton Keynes will adore me even more afterwards. Haha. I cant wait though, i dont feel like me at the moment, maybe thats one of the reasons im so unhappy. 

 FUUUUUCKKKKKK OFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
you fucking prick.
just fuck off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

i want to fucking scream at the top of my lungs.
i feel like my head is going to explode

college again tomorrow.
i missed all 3 days last week due to having some awful flu type thing!
Coursework to hand in that i have no idea about, so have done a couple of bits to the best of my ability, and will have to ask the tutors tomorrow about it.
Looks like things are finally moving forward with the work though, thank god.

Things are dire on the money side of life.

My family are coming to see me on saturday! im so excited! im so close to my family, and i havnt seen them all since august!
Can't wait :D

Note to self: sort stuff out this weekend to sell on niceboots!!!

We got our kitten :D
hehe

He is called Atari, and he is very small! hehe
though he looks quite big in the pictures!
He is 4 months old :3







♥

Feeling really disheartened about college after today.
Have you ever felt like you are surrounded by idiots?

I just can't believe the incredibly slow pace that we are being 'tought' at, if you can even call it that.
I can honestly say i havn't learnt one thing since i have been there.
I REALLY hope that its just because its the beginning of the course and the boring health and safety section.
I'm just starting to worry that this is a course geared up for people who have just left school or something.
For starters, i am the oldest person there, and i can REALLY notice it.

I just want to get on with it and do the assignments and things, not sit in a classroom for an hours and then have a 45 minute break and then sit around again for another 10 minutes and have another 45 minute break. It's so silly.

I feel like crying at the moment. I really wanted it to be something that i was going to take a huge interest in, and i could just knuckle down with and get on with it. But instead it feels like i have gone back 7 or 8 years and am back in school making posters about diversity and hazards. 

I think in February if i am still not getting on with it at all im going to switch to the access course. It will mean finishing alot faster and getting into university quicker, but it will also mean not having a qualification quite so relevant to nursing, and not getting any work experience.

Help!

mood: crappy

Am rather bored.
Not back at college until wednesday so have had 4 days off!
Havn't really done anything, and to be honest am looking forward to getting stuck into the course! But not to the early mornings :P
 

Stolen from Sarah!
( Things about me ).

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
So we went to the rescue centre today to see 'kitten E' and for starters got REALLY lost on the way there because its in the middle of fucking nowhere! 
Then we get there, see the kitty, fall in love with the kitty and head to reception to fill out an adoption form.... "yea so its going to be £135 to adopt him".............what? my dog only cost £130 to adopt from the RSPCA!
So we decided against paying a stupid amount of money for him :(
We did see and ADORABLE rottweiler whilst we were there though! Awwwww we wanted to take him home! hehe

When we got home we saw a kitty we had never seen before down the road, a huge pregnant black kitty! :D
So it must be fate we think :P
We made some posters saying 'Kitten Wanted!' with details and stuck them around the neighbourhood! So fingers crossed someone will own preggo-cat and give us a call!

Still looking for Inky the pug though :( havn't found him yet. We will find him one day :)

So its my first day at college tomorrow! Im going to bea mature student! haha. im really looking forward to starting! 
I know its just going to be basic things in the first few days like the structure of the course, time table, fire drill and all that crap but im glad to be finally getting on and doing something with my life!

Peachy and I drove to Wales this weekend to see his family which was a lovely little break! Every time i go to Wales i seem to completely relax :) 

Plus, we FINALLY switched bedrooms yesterday! It took a long time but its looking lovely already!
My dad came up to see us today and brought my bedframe, bed side table, computer desk and mum paid for a new matress for us last night! So we are really chuffed with it all!

Going to Ikea at the weekend to grab a new computer chair and some nice shelves, and then measuring up for some curtains in the bedroom :) 

I love my nan and grandad :3
My nan put some money into my account this morning, and its all gone already!

Did a full food shop, got my brother a birthday present for next month, spent an alarming amount in staples on stationary for college and got Peachy a pacman mug!

I am REALLY looking forward to starting college next week!
I really want to just get on with it and knuckle down so can get good grades and will have no trouble getting into university next year.
My auntie is even giving me a desk so i can have my own study area at home where i can keep all my things!
Im so excited!

I just emailed a woman who needs to get rid of 4 kittens desperately, and she has 2 males. So i have asked what colours the males are. So hopefully i will get an email back tomorrow. We are going to the local animal rescue at some point this week or next week to have a look at the cats and dogs there. 

Im hoping college is going to be a new start for me :)

mood: sick

Can't stop laughing at http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com

fantastic.lol

Am back!

hehe

Had a good time :D
When we forst got there all i wanted to do was drive home again as it was pissing down with rain, and i then got left on my own for about and hour and a half.
But when we actually went out into the arena it was fun!
SOOOO glad we had VIP tickets.
I wouldn't have gone otherwise.
We walked down to blue camp and it was just disgusting.lol
People pissing on other peoples tents, rubbish all over the place, tents and in apart.....
Yuck.
We had proper toilets and showers that were cleaned all the time, loaaaaaaaads of room for all our tents and stuff, and we could just leave stuff outside the tents as we had camp site security. Wicked.
Highlight of the weekend had to be Faith No More last night, but they were closely followed by Gallows on Saturday night. They were amazing!
Also Little Boots was great yesterday although we ended up just getting pushed out the tent because it was so crowded!
Pics to follow, but we only got in a few hours ago and im shattered!
As soon as i got in i threw all our clothes into the washing machine, cleaned all the floors, changed the bed clothes, cleaned out the fish tank and then jumoed into the shower.lol
crazed.

mood: tired

Waaaaaaa, my tummys trying to kill me :(
Stomach craps for like20 hours in a row!
*cries*

It better fucking stop for Leeds or im not going to be happy :(

Peachy and I went on a driving trip around milton keynes yesterday and found a huge sainsburys that actually had ice tea!!!! im so happy :D 

Just a very quick one whilst waiting for my dad to arrive, to drive us back to maidstone for thr weekend....

just got a letter from the college and i have been accepted! :D

YAYYYYYYYYYYY

my enrolment is on the 3rd september :D

So i was looking at the stuff Shelley bought for leeds festival, and i decided to hit ebay with the intention of buying a few new bits.
Has £39 in my paypal account as i sold a handbag a few weeks ago....
so i looked at a few things, then hit the jewellery.... bad idea.

i bought this - 


The Tarina Tarantino i hate you cameo ring!
I have had my eye on this one for AGES, and it sold out on the website soooo fast.
But found an official Tarina dealer and got it for $63 with shipping! Bargain!
But now i want the City Girl cameo aswell :/

So have put another handbag on ebay! lol
This one - http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=150366619911&ssPageName=STRK:MESELX:IT#ht_500wt_976
It sold out on the shops REALLY fast as Paris Hilton was pictured with it. There is one exactly the same with bids of £43 on there at the moment, so i though a buy it now of £50 was reasonable!

Also bidding on 2 Tarina Tarantino lucite bracelets for £1 each with 1 day to go!

I hope everything gets here in time for leeds, but if not, its not the end of the world :)

Havnt posted for a while!

not much to update.
Looking forward to Leeds festival ALOT!
I cant wait!

Going back to the parents house on Friday  and staying over the weekend so i can do Roxannes hair on sunday which is £40 so i will have a bit of extra cash for leeds! Then borrowing mums car for a couple of weeks and driving back up here on the monday, loading the car up wednesday night and were off to Leeds on Thursday morning! :D

Pretty sure me and Peachy are sorted. Got a tent and stuff. just need to order an army issue solid gas burner from ebay for like £2 and the fuel, and get us both some wellies when were back in Maidstone for the weekend.

Im so excited to be getting away from everything for a few days!

Stretched my ears up to 16mm and bought some AMAZING horn and bone spirals, and a pair of bone eyelets. All natural materials! And they came from buffalo that was already dead, so all of the body is used which i totaly agree with.

Been watching the hallmark channel alot. Loving Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. Sexy crimes.lol. its great.

 my friend Charlotte did a picture of me, and i LOVE it.
she is having it prnted properly for her portfolio, and is sending me a copy aswell! 
Going to frame it and have it on the wall or give it to my mum :)

 
                original photo                                picture by Charlotte

the actual big pic is on my facebook :)

It mine and Peachys one year anniversary tomorrow, so we are going out for dinner and a movie!
Will be nice to get out, going to see that new film with John Travolta and Denzel Washington.
And my dear mum sent us a card with a £20 gift voucher for pizza express. hehe
We love that place :3